I Too Have Sailed The World...

Today, a beautiful, vibrant actress, Natasha Richardson, died. She was on a beginner's ski slope about two days, and had an extremely minor fall (which she laughed about and instantly recovered from), but problems occured an hour later when she complained of a headache. That was two days ago. Now, she's dead.

Gone.

It's moments like these that I wonder where "God's" mercy is. It infuriates me so much to see the greatest people go, and see that people still believe that there is a God. I don't really understand it, and I don't think I ever will. The death of this amazing woman came as such a shock, like a random thing that you can't help but tear up over. You see her youth, her talent, and her carefree spirit, and then you see that it's gone. Where is the mercy? Where is it?

It's times like these where I'm awakened to the famous saying: 'Carpe Diem', or 'Seize the Day'. It's a motto that I vehemently promise to live by, but I find that it gradually fades...Getting this news today, after complaining about little complicated things going on in life right now, really makes me feel low. I'd vowed to seize the day, but I wasn't grasping it. I didn't live up to my promise; I forget to.

These moments periodically call to me: Carpe Diem. I'm ashamed that it takes a person's tragic death to open my eyes, for just a little while...

Natasha will be sorely missed.

I would take Twilight and Breaking Dawn (my two favorite books in the Twilight series), First Impressions by Nora Roberts, and watchmen hahahaa.

Why the FUCK am I so angry?

I show none of it on the outside, which I'm extremely thankful. But I'm just really ticked off about a lot of things right now, and I just feel like killing people! I'm not even fucking kidding! The littlest things drive me fucking insane, but I force myself never to say them. I'm not an angry person! But lately I've just been wanting to beat in so many heads of people at school, even some of my fucking friends, and even people I don't fucking know. I know what this anger is stemmed from: jealousy.

I'm just a jealous cunt. Even when there's nothing to be outwardly jealous of, envy fucking creeps up on me and just attacks every nerve in my brain, and it's all I can think about. If I hear, or see, or talk to someone who has something that I want, I get jealous. Even if I ADORE the person with my whole being. I may not be angry at THEM, but there's still a deadly sin there.

GOD I just feel like bashing people's brains in with a fucking wooden bat and watching them bleed. Bottling up my anger is doing nothing for me. That's my problem. I bottle it up. So much that it makes me write absurd fucking shit such as this.

I'm just not my fucking self right now. I'm not being all emo wishing to die, but instead I'm angry at people for no fucking reason at all. Really I'm just drowning in the pain of it, and I'm not able to do something that I love, which is write. Really I just have my guitar. I should probably start writing songs again to get rid of this pressure, cause it's kind of eating me up.

I would be a musician/author/roadie/journalist, all rolled into one. I'm going for those career paths...but it'd be badass to be all of them at the same time. Maybe I'll try it =]

Definitely Mistress Juliya. I've secretly had a thing for her since I saw her on Fuse a few years back XD. And Angelina Jolie isn't bad at all, either.

I think Barack Obama will bring alot of pivotal change to America, and its fantastic. We haven't had change in EIGHT YEARS, and he's the perfect person to bring something new to the table. Seeing him just fills me with hope and aspiration for a better future, and I believe he will make for a very great President. I expect to see him live up to his plans for better health care, lower taxes for the middle class, and bringing our troops home in the next four years. I'm honored to say that I lived in a growing generation to see this day.

Christmas was pretty grand. Though there were no presents, no tree, or no snow, I spent it with my family, happy for the first time in two years. It was pretty rad =]

SURVEY TIME.

Gotta say, I took this, and I was royally spooked for A LOT of them. Read through it, you'll see what I mean.

Happy New Year =]

( Face The Music )

One time, I got an email for ladsoncam.com. And I was at school. Really awkward.

Definitely "It's A Wonderful Life"!!! I look forward to watching that movie every Christmas. It pretty much puts me into a really great holiday mood. And I love black and white movies overall. But I also love the old "Frosty The Snowman" and "Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer". Fantastic!

So. I saw this on one of my friend's pages, and thought it was pretty rad. So yeah. !

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Already Gone by Crossfade.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Pushing Me Away by Linkin Park

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang XDD

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Rockstar by Nickelback. LMFAO.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Seize the Day by Avenged Sevenfold

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Unforgiven II by Metallica

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
MIA by Avenged Sevenfold.

WHAT IS 2+2?
4 Words To Choke Upon by Bullet for my Valentine lml >_< lml

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Unforgiven III by Metallica.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Far Away by Nickelback. <3

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Easier to Run by Linkin Park

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Once again, Rockstar by Nickelback! LMFAO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Watch Over You by Alter Bridge - Mom
Numb by Linkin Park - Dad.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Warmness on the Soul by Avenged Sevenfold.
Or Lullaby by Billy Joel ^^

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hollywood Whore by Papa Roach! XDD

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Guitar by Prince. LOL

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Sidewinder by Avenged Sevenfold o.o

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Five Against the World by Story of the Year! ^^

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Daddy's Falling Angel by In This Moment

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Saw theme song! XD

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Strength of the World by Avenged Sevenfold. Meh.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Announcement Service Public by Linkin Park. "GO! GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH! GO WASH YOUR FACE!" XD

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Sidewalks by Story of the Year ;_;

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
I Don't Care by Apocalyptica.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
The Theft by Atreyu.
o.O

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Critical Acclaim by Avenged Sevenfold...wow. XD

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Me Vs. The World by Madina Lake.
;_;

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
SOMETHING RANDOM.

My most despised activity in gym class is running the mile. It's always been hard for me, even back when I was athletic and used to play basketball and soccer. But I always loved playing dodgeball, flag football, and soccer. I really like those games =]